Assertiveness: How to Stand Up for Yourself and Still Win the Respect of Others Paperback – November 21, 2011

This is the most motivational book I have ever read so far and also more than useful. One of the most interesting points is the 10 commandments of the assertive person. There is also so much good guidance on how anyone can learn to cope in a positive way so that they cannot be argumentative or aggressive. This approach not only fosters healthier relationships but also encourages personal growth and self-confidence. By applying these principles, readers can transform their interactions and create a more harmonious environment both at work and in their personal lives.I could it more than 5/5

Throughout my life I grappled with a crippling inability to speak up for myself. No matter how hard I tried fear and self-doubt always held me back and I let people walk over me not because I wanted them to but because I didn't know how to stop them. That was until I discovered this book which has been a guiding light.The book begins by talking about the root cause of passivity and inability to assert. As I was reading I felt a profound sense of validation. The compassionate approach to addressing the emotional barriers that shackled me for so long made me realize that my struggle was not uncommon. Each chapter gently peeled back layers of insecurities that I was the only one experiencing this, giving me the courage to confront the challenges head on.As someone who always struggled to say "no" and set boundaries, these chapters were particularly empowering. Armed with assertive tools, I slowly began to express my needs and respectfully decline requests that overwhelmed me. The transformation was profound - no longer did I feel like a doormat but a person deserving of respect and consideration.Another area that intimidated me was managing conflicts, the book taught me how to navigate difficult conversations with poise and empathy, transforming conflicts into opportunities for growth and understanding. I found myself better equipped to express myself and advocate for my needs even in confrontational situations.For someone who always felt inadequate and unsure of themselves, the concept of buidlging confidence was a revelation. The exercises for cultivating a positive self-image and embracing my strengths allowed me to step into situations with newfound assurance. I slowly began to shed my fear of judgement and rejection and allowed my authentic self to shine through. The sense of empowerment that came was unparalleled and became a catalyst for further personal growth.For years my inner dialogue was filled with self-doubt and negative thoughts, making it nearly impossible to even entertain the thought of standing up for myself. The practical exercises and self-reflective questions challenged the negative internal dialogue that had dominated my thoughts. I learned to replace self-criticism with affirmations of worth and empowerment which became a cornerstone of my journey because it laid the groundwork for everything else.What sets everything apart was the practical approach to putting assertiveness into practice. It offers real-life scenarios and role-playing exercises to apply the principles I learned to real-world situations. These hands-on exercises were instrumental in building my confidence and refining my skills.I have learned that assertiveness is not about being aggressive or confrontational but about confidently expressing my needs and standing up for what I believe in while respecting others. The profound impact of this newfound ability has extended far beyond my interpersonal relationships, I has permeated every aspect of my life empowering me to navigate challenges with resilience and grace.

Too much scenarios however, useful. Just not straight to the point is all, you’ll have to read a lot to get to what you want

I enjoyed this book giving me real steps to take to better respect myself and my boundaries. I have applied the knowledge and already see a difference.

When I was younger, especially in my days as a high school student, I was one of those guys who made friends easily with both teachers and fellow students but had a hard time when it came to dating and achieving certain goals which required collaboration from others.It wasn't that I was an "ugly duckling" - even though at times I thought I was - or a disagreeable fellow; I had a circle of friends from a cross-section of my high school's student body that included football players, choir singers, members of the drama club and - of course - some of my fellow journalism students. However, when I really wanted to start dating girls, I tended to "wimp out" and become the "invisible man" because I couldn't find a way to get women to notice me in a positive light.Looking back on those days and even further on into my adulthood, I realize now that although shyness played a lot of havoc both in my personal and professional ambitions, my biggest problem was lack of assertiveness.Now, as Judy Murphy points out in "Assertiveness: How to Stand Up For Yourself and Still Win the Respect of Others," assertiveness - which is not to be confused with "aggressiveness" - is one of the most important factors that determine whether we get a job we are seeking, plum assignments and promotions, or if we can attract a significant other and build a happy, healthy and stable relationship based on love and respect.At the start of the book, Murphy explains the difference between being assertive and being aggressive, which is important to understand because some people, especially guys, tend to say to non-assertive peers "to be aggressive and go for what you want." I often heard this chestnut when I asked more successful guys how to get girls to like me or how to ask my student newspaper's editors for stories that I wanted to write.However, as Murphy writes, aggressiveness "lacks respect. Aggressive people lack respect for others," while assertiveness is all about being firm in seeking your goals without being disrespectful or obnoxious.In the book's six chapters - not including the author's introduction or her conclusion - Murphy discusses such key topics as to how non-assertive persons can train themselves to be more assertive by improving their body language and manner of speaking, how self-perception (especially negative self-perception) determines one's levels of assertiveness, how individuals can get further ahead in their careers by correcting bad habits - such as talking like a "wimp" or being the "unassuming type" in social functions - and gaining positive attention from supervisors and other "authority figures" at work.Murphy even addresses the dynamics of romantic relationships - including marriages - which can be negatively affected by one's lack of assertiveness and self-respect. As the author points out, "If you want your relationships to be a haven, a safe respite from the storm, it is important to learn to assert yourself with the people you are close to.""Assertiveness: How to Stand Up For Yourself and Still Win the Respect of Others" is written in a crisp and easy-to-follow style, and Murphy's authorial tone is informative and engaging, with no heavy-handed preaching or academically dryness that would turn off readers.