Gallery Books Troubled: A Memoir of Foster Care, Family, and Social Class

Very impactful book

From the inside of elite Yale but coming from the far far outside of LA & CA foster care, Rob has a unique voice, a more authentic Point of View, and a penetrating intellect, combined with an honesty that is socially brutal. He coined the term “Luxury Beliefs” as an obviously true phrase to describe current pathologies of elite rhetoric, where “what they say” is far from “what they do”. The many insights already available in his substack and his X feed demonstrate the value of reading him, and taking him both seriously AND literally. When an elite Yalie is criticized by a non-elite, the words are ignored, since all non-elite are eminently ignorable. But if it’s from a Yalie, it’s dismissed as hypocrisy – “you’re here, aren’t you?”. He was there, entering Yale in 2015, but that came after years of non-com service in the military, preceded by difficult years being raised first by a drug addict mom, then a series of foster homes, then a problematic adoption & divorce. He was in many schools with poor grades, but living real life stories of young men in bad situations. True stories of real harm, damage, and even death – so different from snowflakes who claim to be harmed by some Halloween costumes. So many brief stories that are so human, often funny, funny-sad, and too often tragic. A series of snapshots of life among the majority of Americans w/o college degrees. Rob writes with such an empathic voice it’s as easy to keep reading as the first chapter of a Harry Potter book. The problem of elite beliefs is destroying civilization. Problems can’t be fixed unless they are accurately and honestly identified – Troubled, this book, does more to clarify the human problems of luxury beliefs than any other book. Not just a good book. An important book making the important the point Rob makes: an unstable home is worse for children than poverty. The low number of foster care kids who get a college degree, 3%, is far lower than the 11% who get degrees tho their parents are in the bottom quintile of income (0-20%). Rob seems to be in the process of becoming the leading psychologist advocating marriage and stable homes for children, with his own example and life experience as something to avoid. Reminds me of how my own father was a good example of what NOT to be as a husband and father.

"The military taught me that people don't need motivation; they need self-discipline. Motivation is just a feeling. Self-discipline is: "I'm going to do this regardless of how I feel". Often, what divides successful from unsuccessful people is doing what you don't feel motivated to do" - Rob Henderson in the book "Troubled". Personal Reflection: My parents used to make me skip rope 100x, do 20x sit ups, read a chapter of a book, write a full page story, give me spelling tests, and extra math sheets everyday before I could play outside with my friends. I resented it then, but looking back, they were trying to instill me with the antidote to chaos - self-discipline. I'm sure other second generation immigrants of South Asian & Asian descent can relate and in hindsight appreciate this. As the good Dr Jordan B Peterson will say, "Go clean your room". I worked in Child Protection Services for over a decade and it was nice to read the first hand perspective/memoir of someone from the other side. Thank you for this book Rob. A page turner with so many valuable life lessons.

Ein autobiografisches Buch mit hohem Erkenntnisgewinn, das unter die Haut geht. Das beste Sachbuch, das ich in den letzten fünf Jahren gelesen habe!

I drove by Redding and the neighborhood on a number of occasional leisure trips north before reading this book. Shocking insight into american foster care system and some of these depressive regions live, one of many you drive by without an idea on how it looks like. Rob Henderson is one of the most humble and interesting writers, highly recommend to subscribe to his notes on books he reads on X