You Can Negotiate Anything: How to Get What You Want

I've reread this book several times since 1980 and have gifted dozens of copies since then as well. The big takeaway? In a negotiation, put yourself in a position to say, "I care, but not that much!"

A friend of mine, once walked into a tire store, and said he needed a set of new tires for his Lincoln Continental. And then told the salesman exactly what he would pay, which was well below the advertised price. To his surprise, the salesman said no, and refused to negotiate. Stunned, my friend, left the store without the tires. He thought: no tire salesman would ever turn his back on a surefire sale. And yet, that is exactly what happened. Obviously, my friend had not read "You Can Negotiate Anything". Had he done so, he would have known that he would have to spend time talking with the salesman, getting to know him, before announcing what he was willing to pay. By walking in off the street cold turkey, and asking for a sweetheart deal, rarely works. My friend likely would have gotten what he wanted, at the price he was willing to pay, had he taken the time to get to know the salesman, and for the salesman to get to know him, to see him as a fellow human in need of help. This takes time, of course, and that's the point. Investing your time, and that of the salesman's, leads to agreement. The idea is to achieve something beneficial to both parties, rather than to your's alone. That, in a nutshell, is the secret of negotiations: you must personalize the relationships first; by acting in a sincere and friendly way. Do that, and the world will see your humanity, and be more inclined to help you. Cohen's short book (255 pages) is full of real life examples, as well as a number of steps that lead to closure that is satisfying to both parties. One of Cohen's most compelling examples is that of teenage girl whose diary brought home to the world the horror of World War II. Writes Cohen: "When the Second World War was over, we learned the statistical magnitude of the atrocities committed against humankind. We could not fathom the absolutes evil perpetrated by the Nazis and their countless millions of silent and passive accomplices. For the average person, the numbers were incomprehensible. 'More than anything else, it was the writings of a teenage Jewish girl that helped people understand some of the horror that had taken place. While hiding from the Nazis, she wrote a vivid and tender account of her experience. Her words expressed her innocence, optimism, and humanity that produced an emotional impact. This was, of course "Anne Frank: Diary of a Young Girl", published in 1947 and later made into a play and a film that affected the world. "Accordingly, to maximize your impact as a negotiator--no matter whom you are dealing with--you must personalize both yourself and the situation." I originally read this book some 30 years ago while in the midst of changing the retail culture of a $4 Billion company, from one of adversarial selling tactics to one of counselor selling effectiveness. It took some time, but the company did indeed change; the results were increased sales, fewer customer complaints, and a happier and more content sales force. Bottom line: no matter your line of work, Cohen's ideas will enhance your effectiveness, and your personal happiness, and you'll probably live longer, too.

On the fist of the three CDs, Herb covers how Power and Time can affect a negotiation. And how to use these tools to affect other people's behavior during a negotiation. Listed below is a summarization of the first 8 "Power" perspectives that Herb outlines in his audio book. I only provide brief descriptions. 1. The "power" of Competition - Creating competition for what you have (money, something you are selling, or even an idea) and what you have goes up in value. Don't devalue what you have by telling the other party that no one else is interested in it. Emphasize how others are interested in what you have. 2. The "power" of Options - Always have options before entering a negotiation. By researching and obtaining many or even a few options, you will be more confident during your negotiation. The other side will sense this and will probably become more flexible. 3. The "power" of Legitimacy - The power of written words. Most people have a perception that what is written in books or signs are to be taken as fact. Promote written words (show car dealers adds of a cheaper deal on the same car, etc...) with the understand that written words can be challenged. And you should also challenge written words when it serves you. 4. The "power" of Risk Taking - Take calculated risks. If you don't, the other side might and will have an advantage. (not much else to say there). 5. The "power" of Commitment - Getting others to take a piece of the action. When you have a partner or more in your endeavor, there are now more people share in the stress (thus yours goes down) and in the negotiation process. 6. The "power" of Expertise - Establish your credentials up front as an expert in a particular area (and if you are not an expert in the particular area, gather as much knowledge as you can before the negotiation) and your opinions may not even be challenged. 7. The "power" of Knowledge of Needs - Understanding what the other side's needs really are. What the other says they need to make the deal is not necessarily the minimum of what they Really need. 8. The "power" of Investment - Getting the other side to invest lots of time and effort before discussing what really matters to you, (ie. price or interest rate, etc...) Save it until the end of the negotiation if possible. This has the other side extending more of a commitment of time to you and if the deal fall through, they have to start all over again. There are a few things about this audio book that I did not like: Most of the tactics Herb discusses are to be used when negotiating with an adversary (car salesman, Boss, etc...) Trying these tactics with someone you are closer with (wife, husband, friends, relatives, etc) will cause rifts and could deteriorate your relationship with that person. Herb often confuses the point of affecting peoples behavior and controlling them. The issue that I take with this is that if you go into the negotiation with the intention of controlling another, you could find yourself coming up short on results and gaining much frustration, especially if the other side perceives that you are being manipulative and dishonest. Overall, its a good audio book. I suggest keeping a critical but open mind when listening so you can get the good stuff and filter out any negatives you may find. .

This book worked for me as an emotial intelligence course. Common sense really but so many times forgotten. Nowadays the investment of our time in others is so reduced that the level of tension in human relationships has never been so high. This book helps me to remember how important is the human touch for your own inner satisfaction and happiness.

A1

この本に出会ったのは、あのアメリカメディア会の帝王ラリー・キングの‘How to talk to anyone, anytime,anywhere’の中でラリーのブルックリン少年時代の悪がき仲間として著者のコーエン氏が紹介されていたからでした。コーエンは多くのPrivate companyや政府外交の交渉役として長年その辣腕を振るってきましたが、少年時代からその才能は人並みはずれたものだったようです。 ラリーの本の中のエピソードで、ラリーとコーエンはお小遣いほしさに、引っ越した友達を死んだことにして友人たちからお葬式の花代を巻き上げたそうです。学校もそれを信じてしまい、その友人の名を冠したScholorship Award を作ってしまいます。そしてこの出来事は、ひょいと死んだはずの友人が学校に現れてばれてしまい、担任の先生から放校を言い渡されます。しかし、コーエン氏が担任に「もし僕らが放校になったら、教育委員会の諮問委員会で、確認の電話のひとつもせずに１３歳の少年の話を鵜呑みにした先生の立場があやういのでは？」と交渉し、無罪放免でこの状況を切り抜けたそうです。 この本にも、交渉のロジックだけでなく、著者のエピソードとその状況で繰り出す「なるほど」とうなってしまうようなテクニックが多く記されています。また著者いわく、「交渉できないものはない、それを妨げているのは常識だ」と述べ、ディスカウントストアでも交渉する著者の姿はほほえましくもあります。また、冷戦時代のソビエトとの外交官との交渉のエピソードも面白く読むことが出来ました。 いろいろな交渉術がかかれていますが、それらの黄金率は「相手の欲求を読み、お互いが満足し勝者になる態度で交渉に臨め」ということのようです。

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