If You Tell: A True Story of Murder, Family Secrets, and the Unbreakable Bond of Sisterhood Paperback – December 1, 2019

A horrendous story. A heartbreaking story. A well told story. A story one wishes was fiction. Yet an all too true crime story. My heart goes out to these girls, their cousin Shane, & the families of the other victims of this evil woman.Nature or Nurture? I can't tell you what I think, because I don't really know how I feel about it. In most behavioral instances, I believe Nurture wins out. However, in many instances of abuse, I have to say, it appears that Nature, DNA, is much stronger than Nurture. My ex- was abused & became an abuser. I don't get it! Why? Did he want others to suffer because he had? In many ways, the descriptions in this book sound just like him, except as bad as life with him was, it came nowhere close to Shelley's sadistic enjoyment of torture! Mr. Olsen begins this story before Shelley was old enough for Nurture to have made much of an impact, but the history as given here shows that she actually had a double whammy of influence. By Nature she apparently inherited much of her personality disorder/psychosis from not only her own mother, but also from her paternal grandmother. She also learned from them & THEIR behavior issues, so there's the Nurture aspect as well! In my opinion, as a Christian, when a child displays such offensive behavior at such a young age it is difficult to NOT place blame on the devil. As Flip Wilson used to say, "The Devil made me do it"! It's not as simple as that, but such a young child doesn't normally have the thought processes necessary to be THAT narcissistic & sadistic! Yet Shelley WAS that way, ruining any fun-filled planning by her Dad & Lara for the entire family. For that reason, I say Nature. Yet, she repeated so much of what her grandmother did, therefore exhibiting Learned behavior, & I have to say Nurture. On the other hand, why did Lara's example NOT teach her better behavior?Why are so many of us vulnerable to abusive personalities? I, like Sami, am a "peacemaker". I need to be liked, needed. I'd also never known abuse as a child, & thought my ex- would change over time. He didn't. Many of us are "fixers". Believing we can "fix" the abuser's personality. We can't. Others, like Shelley's 3 husbands, are simply too blinded to reality to believe that our "loved one" could actually be so evil! I did feel bad for Dave at first, seeing him as another victim, but when he began enabling Sherry, not so much.As a healthcare provider, the descriptive nature of Mr. Olsen's writing did not "bother" me nearly as much as the emotions it brought forth. My PTSD kicked into high gear! If you are very sensitive to graphic descriptions of both physical & emotional abuse, or have never been exposed to them before, this book may not be for you. I am interested in psychology, so it was intriguing to me. My only "complaint" would be that, for me, there's not a lot of insight into WHY Shelley was how she was. What HER thoughts were during episodes. We see & hear her actions, & her speech, but I'd be more interested in what she was THINKING at the time. I can understand somewhat why Mr. Olsen didn't offer this. As I've said, my ex- was much like Shelley & was a pathological liar. He could tell you a lie today, not talk to you for 10 years, then keep his lies straight when he next speaks to you! You'd never know what his true thoughts were. I'm guessing, Mr. Olsen could have extensively & exhaustively interviewed Shelley & never heard a truth from her.

This is hands down one of the most horrific stories I’ve read or heard of. A friend recommended this book, knowing that I have a strong interest in true crime and it certainly will be a case that I will remember and will haunt me for the rest of my life.My reasoning, like a few reviews here has nothing to do with the story itself, but more with how it was told. And to be honest I thought to give it 3 stars, but I don’t want to discourage others from reading it because it is a powerful story.I want to first commend the author on the significant emphasis he put on the gravity of Shelly Knotek’s crimes he was quite detailed, sometimes horrifyingly so. But I think it was important to tell the story this way so that it was clear what a monster Shelly Knotek is.My struggle is with the organization and the overall story-telling. I found this novel difficult to read at times because, while it had its benefits, there was far too much exposition. It began to feel repetitive the further I got into it and the repetitiveness felt like the cause of this novel being 400+ pages and 85 chapters long. On the same note, the call for 85 chapters seems unnecessary. The staccatoed chapters were jarring and tough to adjust to. My largest complaint, which is likely a result of both of the previously mentioned struggles, is the disorganization of the narratives. While I understand the struggle of trying to tell the multiple points of view from the many victims of Shelly Knotek, I personally feel that it could have been organized a little better. I could tell the story was mostly chronological but also told the stories of each victim sort of separately while overlapping, which again, belabors the unbelievable crimes that Shelly Knotek committed. But I feel like it still came off as all over the place.All it all, it was a good book and it certainly tells a fascinating and unimaginable story. It wasn’t my preferred writing style but nevertheless a compelling story.

As a lover of true crime, this book pulled me in from the start — though, to be honest, I didn’t even realize If You Tell was based on a true story until I was halfway through. Frankly, no one could make this up. Gregg Olsen tells a harrowing, detailed account of one of the most horrific cases of abuse I’ve ever read about. The fact that justice was ultimately served brings some relief, but the journey there is beyond disturbing.The writing is solid, thorough, and sticks closely to the story without sensationalizing it. At times, I felt it dragged a little, but in hindsight, I think that had more to do with my own anxious anticipation than the pacing itself. I read this book in a single day because I simply couldn’t put it down.If you’re a fan of true crime, this is a must-read — but I would caution that the content is extremely heavy and could be very triggering for some readers.