How We Love Workbook: Making Deeper Connections in Marriage Paperback – October 10, 2006

I really love this book so far. The work is grounded in real psychology and draws heavily from The Attachment Handbook and major Attachment Theory publications over the last 50 years since Bowlby and Ainsworth. It was recommended to me by a lovely marriage and family therapist (LMFT) who was using it herself. It really has benefited me in the short two weeks I've had it more than just about any other Bible Study or self-help book. It is Christian focused, but aside from the statements of Faith and Truth, looking into your past and your memories and touching on what is underneath the pain and miscommunications, anger and shame we experience with those closest to us who we love deeply, yet as they say in the book, we often dance the wrong steps and step on toes (sometimes our own) and trip up in relationship. Learning a "new dance" will benefit your ability to love, see, hear, and connect with your partner and family. I'm convinced it can and will help you in every part of your daily life if you are willing to make the effort to see your part in the problem. It has helped me with a lot of my preconceived notions and given me a lot more empathy. It has helped me see what tender emotions are underneath that anger. I would recommend it for adults in relationship or who are "single". Be warned: The work in this book is very difficult and you will find internal resistance. For me that means it is working towards the good stuff and provides hope that real change is possible.

Highly recommend the Book itself along with this workbook. Simply explains a clear picture of the emotional holes that shape our interactions with others and interfere with being a secure connector. The authors are transparent with their own stories and use stories of real accurances as examples. For those that are willing to invest in the time and energy your marriage deserves, this book is a catalyst to assist in that process. The authors are expert professionals in counseling others toward lessons for deeper intimacy and years of continued growth in a marriage.They share these marriage counseling lessons for just the cost of the book! Invaluable.

Our small group from church is going through this book. The discussions we’ve had because of it have been amazing. The book and workbook (don’t bother doing this study without the workbook…that’s where the real change happens) have shown us how our upbringing has shaped who we are and how that plays out in our marriages. It present the information in an easy to understand way that elicits hope for a stronger marriage and stronger relationships. You are invited to do some hard soul work, but the potential rewards are many. Highly recommend to read as an individual, as a couple, or as a group.

My husband and I went through this book and ended up doing the workbook through a marriage class through church. This was probably one of the best classes that we have taken on learning how we love each other and getting to the root of our unhealthy love styles, well for me anyway.

This is the most amazing work you can do in your marriage! We’ve been married for almost 39 years and it has made a fundamental shift and how we communicate. It is helped heal us from childhood trauma, improved communication, given us more empathy and compassion for each other, and we just have more joy in our marriage! Amazing stuff!

Good workbook.

My husband and I are always trying to improve ourselves and our marriage. Not only for ourselves but for our kids as well. If you are familiar with or liked the 5 live languages you will like this book! Similar concepts as you are figuring out your love style but this goes on a much deeper level. I’ve learned a lot about myself I never would have thought twice about prior. I think every couple should read this especially if you are in an early marriage. Proactive is best.

It can hit you with reality about yourself but worth it.