A Loving Life: In a World of Broken Relationships

In this follow-up book from A Praying Life, Miller’s A Loving Life is really a devotional commentary on the Book of Ruth. As I read through this book, I realized that the story of Ruth is about the heart-wrenching transition of Naomi & Ruth. This book drips with the gospel; Miller beautifully shows a cruciform life reflected in Naomi, Ruth, & Boaz. I was greatly helped by his definition of hesed love as a “one-way, stubborn love… that isn’t centered on fairness” but centered on death and ends in resurrection.I began to read this book on my darkest day in 2014. Much of this book was read with tears; and I found a very healing read about God’s hesed love in the Gospel according to Ruth. To give you a taste of Miller’s mastery of gospel-centered living, consider his conceptual model he calls the “J-curve“. Christian Scholars say that a biblical worldview of history is linear instead of cyclical; but the line is not flat, says Miller; “it is actually shaped like a J, beginning with life and then going down into death and then upward to resurrection, a J-curve. Jesus lives a J-curve. He describes his life as a seed dying and rising again (John 12:24). Gospel stories are possible only because God actively shapes history, bringing life where there is death” (p. 68).I agree with Miller that our hearts were made for gospel stories. All of our lives must go through the dip in the J, what Peter Scazzero calls “the Wall” and what David calls “the Valley” in Psalm 23. Before there is new life, there must always be a death. Miller provides extremely helpful pastoral insight to living-out this J-curve shaped life:“[God teaches] us to love by overloading our systems so we are forced to cry for grace. God permits our lives to become overwhelming, putting us on the downward slope of the J-curve so we come to the end of ourselves. I encouraged my friend to embrace the downward path, not to push against it or worry about where his feelings were with his wife… Seeing the gospel as a journey remaps our stories by embedding them in the larger story of Jesus’s death and resurrection. His normal becomes our normal” (p. 69).Miller then shares what he has learned by going through the J-curve.* We don’t know how or when resurrection will come. It is God’s work, not ours.* We don’t even know what a resurrection will look like. We can’t demand the shape or timing of a resurrection.* Jesus, we must embrace the death that the Father has put in front of us. The path to resurrection is through dying, not fighting.* If we endure, resurrection always comes. God is alive!“We can’t do death. But we can’t do resurrection. We can’t demand resurrection—we wait for it” (p. 71). I was at the bottom of the “J” when I picked up this book: I had to die to a vision that I was not willing to let go. Watching Ruth die over and over, helped me die; and I found that my heart was re-oriented to love again. Resurrection quietly came. If you find yourself fighting in the bottom of the J, and you are confused about what is coming next in your life, then this book might really encouraged your soul.

This timely and much needed book addresses the most important issue ever to face a human: how to live in relationship with someone else. Refreshingly, Miller's wisdom is not directed at any one relationship, and can be applied wherever we find ourselves interacting with another person, even God. His writing drips with the gospel of grace and encourages, comforts, and uplifts people struggling to live in that grace and show it to one another.It is an easy read––Miller has an effortless, conversational style that moves smoothly and quickly and doesn't leave you bored or confused at any point. He doesn't use Christian-ghetto jargon and avoids controversy or too-minute theology: his aim here is practical help for real life people, and he accomplishes it well. He uses the book of Ruth as his template, but although it is an excellent resource for the Bible reader, it is not a commentary or Bible study manual. It's more of a conversation about life than dissection of a literary text. But don't get me wrong, his exegesis is sound and he certainly gives very helpful insights into the history, context, meaning, and application of this interesting Old Testament book.This is perhaps the only book I intend to read again every year of my life. There is so much wisdom packed into every page, so much conviction and encouragement about how I relate to God and people, and so much comfort and inspiration in dealing with real heart-break and frustration in the world, I feel no re-reading would be a mere rote exercise.A Loving Life is a book for anyone and everyone, for any and every occasion. Give it to newlyweds, singles, a struggling married couple, your children or your parents, or anyone you know in need of a little cheer from a loving God who calls us to lead a loving life, just like him.

Quick tip: A Loving Life is an insightful study of the Old Testament story of Ruth. This book is full of unique insight into our hearts and experience today. Paul Miller says what we need to hear - that the way of love will cost much, but that the reward is worth the investment.I discovered Paul Miller's writing when someone gave me his book A Praying Life. It encouraged me - so when I later saw A Loving Life, I knew I had to read it. I wasn't disappointed. If anything, this book had a deeper and more significant impact on my life than A Praying Life.Miller follows the story of Ruth, an outsider to the covenant blessings of God and of the Jewish cultural power and value structures, as she learns what it means to love and to be loved. And, in the process, Miller shows us powerfully how true love requires us to follow the path of the cross - the path of death to self in order to experience new life in covenant relationship with God. His diagram of the "J Curve" has seriously rocked my understanding and experience of suffering. He argues that the death and resurrection of Jesus isn't just a message to be heard and believed, but an experience to be followed. That the way to experiencing life in all its fullness requires us to walk through experiences of death and all of its suffering.This sounds discouraging, but it is anything but. I found it encouraging and life giving - because it makes sense of the reality of life.Paul Miller has made it his life's passion to help people grow in their relationship with Jesus. If you are a follower of Jesus, I can't recommend this book highly enough.

This book helped me see just how much I’ve bought in to the cultures idea that love is a feeling. It’s so much more! I love how the author weaves together a very Biblical view on love with the story of Ruth and Naomi. I love the illustration of the J curve where I choose to go down into death for the good of another and God raises me up to life. This is a book that I will read again and give away as a gift.

I got this book for reference in writing my Master's Thesis ...Amazing book ....Highly recommended for any serious library.. This book will literally transform your life and the way you deal with people.. More people need to read it so that our society can improve.

Amazing perspective about God's love from the book of Ruth.

Wonderful book. Was sad when it was over. It really made me realize how little I love. I recommend this book to anyone like me, who is living in a difficult situation. It gave me hope that things could get better and change with hesed love.