When Your Partner Has Bipolar Disorder: Helping You and Your Partner Build a Balanced and Healthy Relationship

This book has been a lifeline for me. This is exactly the support I have been desperately searching for.It is different from other books on the subject- It includes current research, treatment, and metaphors to understand bp. It is written specifically for spouses and focuses on self-care and boundaries. Each chapter provides examples of what to say in difficult conversations, such as communicating boundaries, communicating with children, and asking for support from family and friends.

This book is helpful. I wish there was more. I was surprised when it ended after chapter 5. Regardless, it’s worth a read.

Dr. Selig's book is approachable, non judgmental, and a critical resource for many. I highly recommend this book for caregivers, loved ones, and providers.

Great find & price.

A must read! As someone with bipolar a great tool for partner.

Author William O. Selig brings deep expertise and years of practice as a clinical psychologist to this well-thought-out, informative, and highly readable book. "When Your Partner Has Bipolar Disorder" should be read by anyone whose partner has the disorder and who wants their relationship to last. The disease, which triggers unpredictable changes in brain chemistry, brings periods of euphoria and hyper energy, at one extreme, and depression, feelings of hopelessness, and listlessness at the other. It’s an incurable lifetime affliction that is hard to treat because it differs with each person. But it can be managed successfully with appropriate medication and research-grounded therapy.“Living with bipolar disorder is not for the faint of heart,” Selig writes. That applies both to the person who has it and the person this book is written for—the partner. Over nine chapters, Selig explains what the disorder is, the best ways to help a partner manage it, how to head off or respond to worrisome or frightening episodes, and how to keep a whole family safe. He confronts frankly the problems that can arise, including violent, abusive, or suicidal behavior, excessive drinking and drug use, infidelity, and danger to children. Among the paramount lessons: Remember that the person is distinct from the disorder. That way you can fight it as a team. And professional help is essential.Sprinkled throughout the book are “In Real Life” anecdotes drawn from Selig’s practice. These range from a partner who resists treatment or stops taking medication to warning signs of an oncoming bipolar episode. Each chapter offers practical ways to communicate with a partner who has the disorder so as to maintain openness and not put them on the defensive. The book stresses the importance of keeping a journal—either alone or with a partner—and setting aside healing time for oneself to exercise or meditate.A comprehensive section on medications describes the four main categories of drugs available—mood stabilizers, anti-psychotics, antidepressants, and benzodiazepines—as well as new therapies that should be approached cautiously. “Side effects range from bothersome to intolerable,” Selig writes, and it can sometimes take years before a patient and clinician find a drug that works well. This exercise demands persistence, as does the search for an appropriate method of therapy (psychiatrist, psychologist, group, or combination). Another chapter explores in detail how to care for children when a parent has bipolar disorder—an added burden for a partner. Children need above all to feel safe. They also deserve honest responses, but not too much information, as well as assurance that a parent is getting treatment and still loves them.Even with medicine, therapy, and the best support a partner can provide, someone with bipolar disorder may prove impossible to live with. If so, the partner must face the “heart-wrenching“ option of leaving, but not without careful thought.Readers of this review should know that I’m a friend of the author, whom I’ve known for nearly 20 years. But I believe others will be impressed by Selig’s clarity, compassion, and skill at distilling voluminous research (some 70 publications) into straightforward advice.Mark Matthews, retired journalist and editor.

Very helpful guide for those who know, or suspect, that their partner is bipolar. The opening chapters share stories of Selig's therapy clients. As a specialist focused on bipolar treatment, he draws on his Stanford doctoral training. He also incorporates insights into creativity that spring from his decade involved in the theater.Many of the stories published here recount an experience of observing manic episodes without knowing for sure that their partner is bipolar. Some people may find their partner as crazy as somebody who thinks they're a chicken. As the Woody Allen joke goes, they may still need the eggs. Of course, bipolars in a florid manic episode are not simply inspired, they're dangerously impulsive, too incoherent to be productive, and nearly impossible to be around for long.The book steps through the initial stage of recognizing that a person is in fact bipolar, then explores the path to engaging with your person so that they will be more likely to seek treatment. The support systems that will help structure the treatment, as well as the full range of different treatments available, are the central part of the book. Of course, *KEEPING YOURSELF SANE* is the crux of sustaining a relationship that has any chance to be healthy. Every chapter includes practical guidance, including specific language to make conversations more effective and less contentious. The book includes many helpful resources for support groups, many available online.I should say I came to this book with the mistaken assumption that the author was writing a first person account of being married to a manic spouse. Obviously, his expertise is clinical rather than autobiographical, but if you are seeking extensive stories of people's experience, there's many different couples quoted here.