Shouting Won't Help: Why I--and 50 Million Other Americans--Can't Hear You

Katherine Bouton has been a writer for the New Yorker, and her literate and informative writing skill come to serve us very well in this book which is part memoir. Clearly this book is going to attract those people with hearing loss or who have family with hearing loss. But as Bouton points out, this is a stunningly large number of people, one estimate is 17 per cent of people in the US. Yet the study of hearing loss and its treatment is deeply underfunded. More to the point, hearing loss is associated with extensive emotional and social loss that the hearing understand only marginally. I did pick up this book because my mother is struggling with hearing loss. She had shared her frustration, anger and depression with her isolation. This book is able to greatly enlarge my understanding of her struggle. Bouton has met with professionals in every facet of this loss. She provides vignettes with people in specific fields who have lost their hearing. These people include nurses and opera singers. She has been able to speak with a range of people in her situation and attend most of the venues for therapy and support across the country. (My mom is planning to read the book.) Most striking for me is the sheer exhaustion of effort that is required for a person to cope with conversation even with good hearing aids. As I mentioned, the writing in this memoir allows me to absorb quite a bit of knowledge but not in a cumbersome or tedious form. Bouton is witty and wry where the topic allows it. Her tone is not preachy or self absorbed. She is open and genuine with her self disclosure. Finally I have to say that I picked up the book for a specific purpose but enjoyed the reading for the pure pleasure of learning. In fact I am pleasantly surprised, not because of the writer, whom I respect, but because the topic seems unpromising. Finally she is able to offer some solutions, notably ways to move away from the effort to return to one's former self and towards one's new identity, even though this is certainly difficult. In summary, be it to find solidarity, gain compassion, learn new information, or simply enjoy a book; I recommend you read this book.

This is an ideal book for those who want to understand their hearing loss in detail, particularly those with acquired deafness. It may be of less advantage to those whose hearing loss is not of that type. This is a long and detailed book with some redundancy, but not without its advantage. It reads much as a memoir of this articulate woman's journey from denial through her acceptance of her handicap to her ability to understand it and deal with it. Along the way we are also brought with her on this journey of discovery and enlightenment. Her coming to grips with her denial and what it meant to her career and her job performance were particularly interesting and applicable to many with the same handicap since in most people the loss is gradual and denial is so easy. This common affliction is also so poorly understood, both by those of us who suffer with it and more so by those who associate with us, that Ms Bouton's observation of her own depression over and over again brings this added burden well into the understanding of those who wonder why they feel the way they do about something they really did not think mattered that much. Who really knew that they were really bummed out that much by just not being able to hear until reading this book they came to understand, "Yes, I really do feel that way. And that is why?" Could one really be so depressed by something like that and not know it? When I asked my own physician he seemed a bit taken aback and really did not know what to think of it. Neither did I and I am a physician myself. Suffering with declining hearing for the past almost 40 years at least since I also had an episode of intense vertigo, I found it very easy to identify with much of what the author wrote. It is never easy in the professional world to admit handicap especially where communication is so vital. I am a radiologist and practice my specialty in the diseases of children. I see every week many studies on children with hearing loss and I found the book to be enlightening even at my level of expertise. There is much to be learned and the author does an admirable job in elucidating the state of the art and where it is going. She is to be commended. The book is particularly helpful perhaps to those who are challenged to live with the hearing impaired and this is an area where it may be particularly beneficial. For those who do not know how to deal with the hard of hearing, this book is a boon. The very title is a revelation. How often I have to say that I am only deaf, not dumb. One does not have to shout nor speak slowly nor dumb it down. The book should be read by our loved ones who might be able to love us more and tolerate our handicap better understanding what it really means to be challenged in this way. The book could be a little better organized to make it more readable for those who associate with the hearing impaired, but that might make it less readable in general and might impair the natural flow of the work. It would be nice if those chapters that are particularly beneficial to them could be marked so as to allow them to just read them and skip those that are more interesting to the impaired themselves or those who want to know more. I do not find this a major flaw, just that I do not think I could convince my wife, for instance, to read the book, even though I think it would make a great deal of difference in our relationship. The length may be intimidating for such persons whom we would just want to understand us better. Overall, I have read few books that helped me understand myself better than this one did. I never realized myself the impact that deafness has had upon me. My present hearing aids are already failing to provide me with the hearing support I need. I understand now better than any of my practitioners have given me to understand what is in store for me. For any who face this issue, whether the sufferer themselves or whether another in the family is hearing impaired, this is a good book to read.

Losing your hearing, no matter what your age, can be a bewildering and isolating experience. This first person account is an honest look at what it's like, with sound advice for how best to adjust. Nicely written, it's a riveting story.

I do not know this author. I am not writing a review for a friend. I don't even feel like I have time to write this review, but I was very moved by this book. I sometimes felt she went on too long about herself, but that is just my opinion. Even when she did go on about herself and her own hearing loss to long; at least some of it had relevance. That is my only negative comment,and truly the book would not have worked as well without her voice. This book is well researched, and the statistics are interesting and depressing. The book is well written. I suppose the material in it can be found on the Net somewhere, but I prefer a hard of hearing/deaf person's voice telling me her experience. You can only know what hearing loss is like if you have experienced it. I suggested my audiologist read this book. I appreciate that she is honest about her own denial and that she tells all about what it is like joining the hard of hearing world. There is not one thing fun or funny about hearing loss. It is a terrible isolating experience. I read every page of this book slowly because it is such a wonderful feeling to see the experience described so well, and to know that there are others out there who understand. I recommend this book--it is the best I have read on the subject of hearin loss.

About eight years ago over the course of three months or so I lost all my hearing in one ear and about half in the the other. I realize how melodramatic this sounds, but it was a life-changing event. For me this book is a gratifying confirmation of just how bad it is. It's rather like swapping war stories with a friend who is also wicked hard of hearing. Much of what she has to say about the experience will be statements of the obvious to someone hard of hearing, but it's still good to hear it. For example, in her introduction (Kindle Locations 151-169) she gives tips to those who live with someone hard of hearing; here are a few: * Look at them when you speak-- almost all hearing-impaired people read lips. Don't lean into their ear when you talk-- they need to see your lips. * Speak in a normal voice and articulate as clearly as possible. Shouting won't help. * If the hearing-impaired person says "What?" or "Sorry?" don't simply repeat what you've just said. Rephrase it. * If they don't hear what you've said after you've repeated it two or three times, don't say, "Never mind, it doesn't matter." To the person who can't hear it, everything matters. * Most hearing-impaired people will have a very hard time distinguishing speech over a noisy air conditioner, a humming fish tank, a fan, or anything that whirs or murmurs or rumbles. Don't try to talk to them when the TV is on, and turn off the background music when they come to visit. * Don't talk to a hearing-impaired person unless you have their full attention. A hearing-impaired person can't cook and hear at the same time, no matter how collegial it may seem to join her in the kitchen. * If you're part of a small group, speak one at a time. At a dinner party or book group, where there may be eight or ten people present, try to have one general conversation, instead of several overlapping small ones. * Never lean into a hearing-impaired person's ear and whisper in the middle of a performance. They can't hear you! Now, I don't really have any expectation that people with good hearing are going to read and act upon these tips, and life for the hard of hearing will be better the world over, but it's still good to read a dispatch from someone who really gets it. I indignantly read parts of the book to my long-suffering wife: "See? It's like I told you! This woman proves me right!" So if you're hard of hearing, what the heck, this book is worth the Kindle price. So, why only three stars? I started out by saying that losing my hearing was a life-changing event, but how people deal with life-changing events is a matter of temperament and personality and circumstance, and perhaps character. This poor author really let hearing loss get her down. Apparently it knocked her career sideways and put her marriage in jeopardy. For years and years she chose to try to hide her hearing loss from her colleagues and was shattered when she could no longer do so. Hiding her hearing aids and worrying about looking old were big deals to her. This book is utterly humorless: rather than making a joke about hard it is to change the itty-bitty batteries in a hearing aid, she adds it to the list of things to be depressed about. Hearing loss is certainly traumatic, and the hard of hearing live with stresses that people who can hear don't have. Even so, not everybody with hearing loss goes off the deep end. This book tells the truth about how bad it is to lose your hearing, and how problematic (worthless?) hearing aids and cochlear implants are, but the book would be better with a little advice about how to roll with the punches.

This book is already having an impact on my life. I have had hearing loss since I was a child. Despite being told I should wear a hearing aid at various ages. I did not not get one until I was in my mid 40s. Eyeglasses are considered and accessory and can be fashionable and make a statement about who you are. But wearing hearing aid is till misunderstood and stigmatized. This book brings out into the open so many things that I have thought, but have dared not to speak. I asked my husband to read it so he can understand what I go through and how I feel and why it is so frustrating for me when he talks to me with his back turned toward me with the water running while he is loading the dishwasher. This book will help those who are new to wearing hearing aids or who are thinking of getting them. It explores and explains the growing pains associated with trying to adjust (and maybe never really being able) to the more mechanical way of hearing. It talks about tinnitus (which I also suffer) and vertigo. She also shares stories, real stories, of other people's experiences.I am so happy that I read a review of this book in the NY Times Book Review and that my husband bought the kindle version for me that day. I really cannot recommend this enough. It has encouraged me to participate in a Walk 4 Hearing so I can raise money and help others.

Very much a struggle to finish this book. The author is too much into name-dropping, denied her disability due to vanity, and constantly in a pity party mode. I read to the end because I always feel there is a nugget to learn. This was a very difficult read and the only take-away for me was NO COCHLEAR IMPLANT.

The story the author tells of the trials she faced losing hearing while being a productive working member of society sheds light on the discrimination and difficulties faced by everyone who has lost hearing (including the many who deny that they have). I would recommend this book to everyone - because the statistics show that we ALL probably have a hearing-impaired co-worker, family member, or friend. She points out the many barriers - from noisy environments that make distinguishing speech difficult, to the habit many have of putting their hands in front of their faces while speaking that makes lip-reading impossible. Her hearing loss is profound - but the resources discussed apply to all. From different types of hearing aids to smart-phone apps to blue-tooth hearing aids, looping, and the upcoming iphone-ready hearing aids, she covers them all during her narrative. The review of the phenomenon of hearing lost, causes, and physiology is presented in an easy to read and understand manner. A must-read.

I am severely hearing impaired and have been for 30 years. It was enlightening and comforting to really read Katherine Boultons book. I could relate to so many comments she made about not hearing. A wonderful book also for family members with good hearing, so they can relate to hearing impaired family, friends, and understand how difficult it is for them.

I purchased this book because I wanted to understand better how people who have to live with hearing loss do so and how to be more helpful towards them (my spouse has had hearing loss from early childhood). Delivery was prompt and packaging was perfect - a credit to all of the people who handled the order, thank you all of you. If Katherine Bouton reads reviews like this I would like to thank her for writing and publishing this book.

A moving personal story and a clear plea to anyone suffering from a loss of hearing, big or small to acknowledge their changed situation seek professional advice, help and counselling without delay.

Revealing and insightful. I found it a little hard at first to read as intense and full of details/references but it made me want to share it to explain what it means to be deaf with a little "d". So much focuses on profound deafness, it was helpful to read about those, including myself, loosing hearing and dealing with that invisible often misunderstood and ignored disability.